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Last week, I noticed that a former client of mine had signed up for my on-line "Best Conflict Solutions for Healthcare Professionals" course. I was delighted to see this and had full intentions of sending her an email. Before I could do so, I received one of those calls that make my work as a conflict management coach truly meaningful. Instead of me calling her, she reached out to me.
Sarah, a nurse practitioner (DNP) I had worked with a year ago, reached out to express her gratitude for how our conflict coaching had helped transform her professional life. She told me that because of what she went through, and my support along the way, her life- both personally and professionally – was in a better place than she ever could have imagined.
What touched me most was learning that Sarah had enrolled in the course alongside her daughter, who had just graduated nursing school. The fact that she wanted to share these conflict management skills with her daughter as she began her own nursing career spoke volumes about how deeply Sarah valued the lessons she had learned during our work together.
The Unexpected Storm
Sarah was a respected practitioner in her specialty, working under the supervision of a physician we'll call Dr. D. Their professional relationship had its challenges—Dr. D was known for being occasionally sarcastic and moody—but Sarah generally let these moments roll off her back and focused on providing excellent patient care.
Everything changed unexpectedly when Sarah needed to take time off to care for her daughter. The following day, Dr. D lost his temper in what would become a pivotal moment in Sarah's career.
"Don't bother to come back to work. I don't want you seeing my patients," he told her, claiming she was interfering with his productivity. Just like that, a career position Sarah had envisioned retiring from vanished in a single heated exchange.
Seeking Resolution
As a first step, Sarah approached the organization's CEO, who suggested mediation between her and Dr. D. Sarah also consulted with an attorney to understand her options. While the CEO attempted to facilitate discussions, Sarah quickly realized the limitations of this approach.
"I get it," Sarah told me. "She has to be 'for' who signs her paycheck. Still, that was really hard for me. Privately, I knew she understood and supported me. When we met together with Dr. D, I felt like she was protecting him.”
Since I had previously worked with this healthcare organization on reducing nurse turnover through conflict management training, they brought me in as an outside mediator. I reached out to both Sarah and Dr. D to arrange mediation sessions. I was struck by Sarah's perspective. Despite the hurt caused by the confrontation, she maintained that "Dr. D was just having a bad day, a bad moment, and was overall a good person." She had genuinely wanted to resolve the situation through mediation.
However, Dr. D declined to participate in mediation. In my experience, this reluctance often stems from people's fear of being identified as "the problem" or having to face accountability. As I often tell my clients, "Blame is not a solution"—mediation isn't about assigning fault but about finding pathways forward.
Difficult Choices
Without the option of mediation, Sarah faced significant decisions:
Pursue legal action for unlawful termination. There was evidence of gender-based discriminatory statements, and the trigger for her dismissal appeared to be fulfilling her parental responsibilities. However, her contract included a non-compete clause preventing her from practicing in her community for one year.
Accept a different position offered by management that came with a considerable pay cut and required her to pay a supervisory fee to Dr. D.
Find a new way altogether and potentially outside of the community that she grew up in and that she truly wanted to serve.
Finding a Path Forward
As part of her due diligence, Sarah consulted with her attorney to understand the potential legal path. She learned that litigation would be "long, expensive, and there would be no guaranteed outcome of a judge ruling in her favor." Furthermore, the process would likely exceed the one-year non-compete period.
Through our conflict coaching sessions, Sarah began to process her experience and explore her options with clarity rather than from a place of fear or reactivity.
"I felt heard," she recalled when we spoke recently. "You clearly had experience in hearing situations like this, which gave me comfort. The opportunity to be heard and to find options for what I could do next got my brain re-wired to not be in fight-or-flight. I needed a voice of reason."
The Unexpected Gift of Perspective
Sarah ultimately decided not to file suit and instead focus on moving forward. She found a temporary position outside her specialty during her non-compete period. Another medical organization recognized her value and helped her plan for a return to her community practicing with them once the restriction expired.
"I didn't know there was a problem as big as it was until I began working with another group," Sarah reflected. "I didn't realize how hard I was working and that it didn't need to be this way. When your practice becomes about productivity, you've lost your 'why'. That negativity affects the entire community."
She added insight about broader systemic issues: "The way leadership is structured in some medical organizations, it's a losing position all the way around. Mostly because of unresolved conflicts and gaps in communication. Internally, they're struggling. This truly impacts the community because it doesn’t just affect the healthcare workers, it affects patients and clients- the community over-all."
Coming Full Circle
A year later, Sarah has returned to practice in her community with this different organization whose leadership recognized her value. "The chief of this department said, 'You're a great provider, your patients love you, and it's our job to get you back in your community,'" she shared proudly.
When I asked Sarah what she valued most from our conflict coaching work, her answer was simple: "I wanted to not regret any decisions I made as a result of the conflict. At the end of the day, I can put my head on a pillow as an honest broker with my intentions and choices."
Growth Through Adversity
When asked if she felt she had grown from the experience—both the conflict itself and the journey through it—Sarah's response was affirmative and touching:
"Definitely. Time, faith, restoring faith in humanity. That makes me very proud. And I get to go back to the same community and do my job all over again in a place where I feel supported."
Lessons for Healthcare Organizations
Sarah's experience highlights several important lessons for healthcare organizations:
The cost of unaddressed conflict extends beyond individual practitioners to patient care and community health
Leadership structures that prioritize productivity over professional well-being create unsustainable environments
Effective conflict resolution processes can transform crisis into opportunity for both individuals and organizations
Willingness to engage in mediation and conflict resolution demonstrates organizational maturity and commitment to staff retention
As a conflict management professional, I find that healthcare settings present unique challenges and opportunities for conflict resolution. The hierarchical nature of medical practice, combined with high-stress environments and life-or-death stakes, creates fertile ground for conflict.
Yet, as Sarah's story demonstrates, even seemingly intractable conflicts can become catalysts for positive change when approached with the right support and perspective.
For those facing similar workplace conflicts, remember that seeking help isn't a sign of weakness but of wisdom. Whether through mediation, conflict coaching, or legal counsel, exploring your options from a centered place rather than from fear or anger creates the space for more thoughtful choices.
As Sarah reminds us, the goal isn't to avoid conflict but to navigate it in ways that allow us to "put our heads on our pillows" at night knowing we've acted with integrity.
And perhaps this is the most powerful testament to the value of conflict management skills: Sarah's decision to enroll in my online course alongside her newly graduated daughter. By sharing these tools with the next generation of healthcare professionals, she's helping to create a future where conflicts might be addressed more skillfully from the start—preventing the kind of painful experience she endured.
What began as a professional crisis has transformed into an opportunity for growth that now extends beyond Sarah herself. In this way, effective conflict management doesn't just resolve individual situations—it has the potential to gradually transform workplace cultures one relationship at a time.
Final Word
I shared this story with my former client, “Sarah”, to make sure I represented her accurately. She asked me to promise that I would share the following:
“I am speechless. Putting this experience in to words is another form of healing. Sharing this story for others to read and process provides timeless support to others. I am thankful and grateful. It is through these life experiences that we are gifted with blessings that we didn’t know we needed. Everyone needs a Kimberly Best in their life.” Sarah
The author is a conflict management coach specializing in healthcare settings. Names and identifying details have been changed to protect privacy. The story is published with the permission of “Sarah”.
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