Conflict is a Bad Word

I never had conflict management training as a nurse.  I had no idea how to handle conflict, other than what my personal defaults were – usually avoidance.  I also practiced a bit of accommodation, because I didn’t want to make people mad.  Then I had to deal with my resentments for feeling like I sold myself out or wasn’t true to myself.   I felt like I lost so that someone else wouldn’t feel bad.  Built up resentments, along with unmet needs and a voice not heard can make it really challenging to want to go to work. 

Years later, life took me to a mediation course and then to graduate school in Conflict Management.  There I learned the transformational power of mediation and conflict management.  Effective, respectful communication, particularly when it isn’t easy, requires a toolbox full of skills most of us haven’t learned.   I was so passionate and certain about the value of this that I began Best Conflict Solutions. 

When people asked me what I did for a living, I used to say, “I talk about the two things people want least to talk about – conflict and dying.”  I’m not sure if the nods that followed were understanding or pity.   Yet it is my passion, because I know the systems work.  With knowledge and skill, people really do experience relationships – work or personal- very differently and have very different outcomes when they disagree.

Even the word "conflict" sometimes causes people to turn away. Conflict isn’t easy to talk about.   Because we haven’t learned how.  Over the decade of my business, I rarely see someone excited to come in the door.  They come in with trepidation.   They come in concerned that they’ll be blamed.   They come in expecting a volcano to erupt and to be burned in the ashes.   Almost everyone - from new graduates to seasoned professionals - feels uncertain about workplace conflict. We're all carrying stories of difficult interactions, missed opportunities, and moments we wish we'd handled disagreement differently. 

During my years in the ER and ICU, I learned that conflict isn't about finding who's wrong or right. It’s about maintaining  trust-built working relationships with our colleagues and providing excellent patient care.  Just like putting together a complex patient care plan, it's about building a fuller picture with different personalities. Each person holds a piece of the puzzle - their experiences, perspectives, and needs all matter.   Yet, how do we communicate when we disagree, or feel disrespected, or are afraid to speak up?

While people usually enter conflict management with anxiety and hesitation, I've witnessed time and again how they leave - and it's transformative. In my experience, participants discover their own power to create change. Because conflict management isn't about someone else giving you answers - it's about finding your voice, understanding the other person, exploring options, and creating solutions that work for everyone involved. 

Participants consistently leave with a new sense of confidence and possibility. They see conflict differently - not as something to fear, but as an opportunity for positive change. They stop seeing the other person as the problem and are able to identify the issues that need to be resolved. With deeper self-awareness, practical tools, and fresh perspectives, they can transform workplace tensions into opportunities for collaboration. Most importantly, they understand both themselves and their colleagues better, and have concrete strategies for creating the professional environment they deserve. They leave with agency - empowered to shape their workplace relationships and culture in ways that align with their values while respecting others'.

I understand that discussing workplace conflict can feel uncomfortable, and trusting a stranger with these challenges might seem daunting. 

That's why I developed this self-paced course: 

BEST CONFLICT SOLUTIONS FOR HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS

https://courses.bestconflictsolutions.com/products/courses/healthcare-conflict-solutions

This comprehensive 8-module program offers approximately 3.5 hours of focused video content designed specifically for healthcare environments. Through evidence-based assessments, you'll gain insights into your values, personality traits, and natural conflict management style. The course includes an interactive workbook that helps you apply these insights directly to your workplace challenges. You'll discover practical tools for managing team dynamics, improving communication, and maintaining professional relationships while prioritizing patient care.

The course is designed to give you space to learn and reflect privately,  while providing tools and perspectives you can apply immediately to create positive change in your workplace. Not because I have all the answers, but because I've been there - dealing with interdepartmental tensions, navigating team dynamics, trying to maintain patient care during difficult moments. I've learned that the most powerful changes happen when we stop looking for "the problem" and start looking for solutions.   I don’t have all the answers, but I do know how to help you build options, understanding, and explore outcomes that work for you. 

Whether you're in healthcare or another field, remember that feeling anxious about conflict management doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It means you're human. The goal isn't to eliminate conflict - it's to handle it in ways that strengthen relationships, build collaboration, and meet the needs- to whatever degree possible- for all parties.  

It’s about building a better future after a rocky past.